Last night I met with a wonderful bride, whose wedding I will be photographing in December of this year. As we talked, one of the topics we discussed were some of our more unpopular wedding opinions. We were total kindred spirits! We shared a lot of the same thoughts about wedding planning, and the obligations that you feel. Below you’ll find a few of my opinions and suggestions when it comes to making decisions about your wedding day!
1.) Don’t invite people to your wedding out of obligation or fear of hurt feelings.
Your wedding day is a once in a lifetime event, you want to be surrounded by your closest friends and family, not acquaintances or extended family members you have no close relationship with! I know this one is a struggle for many brides, myself included. Before my husband and I decided to elope, the biggest struggle was planning our guest list. We had pressure from our parents to invite people who we had no personal relationships with. We also had a lot of friends whom we loved dearly, but hadn’t had a close relationship with for years.
The bottom line is that this is your wedding, and you should invite the people who matter. Not to mention that weddings are expensive! You should not be footing the bill to feed people purely out of obligation. When planning your guest list, make a list of “yes” “no” and “maybe” guests. When all is said and done, go with only the people who you’ve deemed in the “yes” category. Chances are most of those people in the “maybe” list are there because you feel obligated to add.
2.) You do not need to give out wedding favors.
Let’s face it. Weddings are not cheap! Especially when you’re working with a strict budget, you need to weigh your options and decide where your hard earned money is best spent. I think when it comes down to it, there are about a million other things you can spend your money on rather than wedding favors. You don’t need to offer your guests a gift for being at your wedding. The gift is the honor of being in your presence, obviously! I kid, I kid. But in all seriousness, the budget you have for wedding favors could be better utilized towards so many other areas of your wedding. A lot of times these favors end up in the junk drawer in the kitchen of many homes anyway!
3.) Your bridal party loves you and wants to be there for you, but be realistic with your expectations of them.
Between the proposal and the actual wedding day, there are about a thousand different smaller events that take place. From the bridal shower, to the bachelor/bachelorette parties, and wedding craft nights, etc, committing to being a member of someones bridal party is a large responsibility both with your time and your money. The people you’ve asked to stand by your side on your wedding day love you, and want to be there for you as much as possible. But, they have limits!
Be understanding with them if they are not able to commit time or money towards a wedding event that you would like them to be a part of. This hits very close to home for me. I’ve been a bridesmaid for a friend who had very high expectations of her bridal party. While I love this person dearly and wanted to be there for them in every way possible, I had a very limited schedule for social engagements due to my job. I would love to take time off to go to the beach for a girls weekend. But, if i’m booked for a wedding i’ve got a commitment that I can’t break! Understand that just because these people may have to skip out on certain events, it does NOT mean they do not love you or support you.
4.) Asking for cash on your wedding registry is not tacky.
Times have changed significantly since this was a faux pas. Most couples these days live together before they are married, and a lot of times have all the household items they need already. When it comes down to it, cash is the most helpful thing you can gift to someone. Don’t be afraid to skip the registry and ask for cash instead, because home renovations and dream honeymoons aren’t exactly sold in stores! Some of your elderly guests may still opt for a traditional present, but most of your guests will actually be relieved that they don’t have to brave the stores or scour through your wedding registry for a good gift.
So I want to know from you all, what are some of your more unpopular wedding opinions? What are the traditions you think are timeless, and which ones do you think need the axe? Tell me below in the comments!